Before I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) in the early 2000s I did not focus on my beliefs at all. NLP training helped me to understand the power of our beliefs. Lying deep in our subconscious they start being developed as a child and continue to be developed through our life. These beliefs inform what we think and in turn what we do.
The reason for my writing this short blog is that I think that regularly questioning my own beliefs is easily said, difficult sometimes to execute and yet one of the most effective parts of my self-development that I have in my toolkit. In fact, it is probably because of this tool that I changed my belief of ‘there is no person out there for me’ to ‘I am open to meeting someone’ that I am now with my life partner.
Most people do challenge other people’s thinking ‘what on earth was she thinking?’. Very few challenge their own thinking with ‘what on earth was I thinking?’ But I promise you that it is one of the most worthwhile thinkings that you can do for yourself to improve your life.
One cautionary note here. The dangerous beliefs are not the ones that you are doubting. They are the ones that you have never examined. They are the ones that you have held deep in your subconscious for years without asking if they are still true and if they are serving you well.
A growth mindset is one where you get curious. The ancient philosophers including Socrates, Plato and Aristotle were students of life, forever claiming to know very little and questioning everything. The wisdom of these philosophers is still with us today.
An exercise for you. Sit down with a notebook and pen. Consider a goal that you would like to achieve or a problem that you are facing. What beliefs may be standing in your way of achieving your goal or solving the problem that’s uppermost in your mind? What mindset would help you here? For example, an open-minded mindset will help me on my journey of shedding some weight or taking a break from alcohol. A belief holding me back might be drinking is fun or eating too much is comforting. What belief might serve me better? For example, alcohol reduces my deep sleep and makes me feel tired the next day or eating too much food makes me feel bloated and tired. From here you could develop some rules that will help you with your goal such as no overeating on weeknights or no drinking alcohol on weeknights. From here you may look at your automatic thoughts that drive your behaviour such as ‘one more night won’t hurt’. You could change this to ‘I will feel such self-respect tomorrow when I wake up if I have a clean day’.