One of the ways that I encourage my clients to take back control is to write down their goal, a broad statement of intent e.g to drink less alcohol.
I suggest that this is followed by an objective preferably following SMART criteria.
What specifically is wanted?
How will you measure it?
Is it achievable and realistic?
What timeframe?
For example, specifically I want to reach a target weight and believe that lowering my alcohol consumption will achieve this not just by saving alcohol calories but also reducing what I eat afterwards. Measurement will be 1 or 2 pounds lost per week. Yes I feel that this is achievable and realistic. The timeframe that I have in mind is my holiday in three months time.
Sometimes for some people it works to share your plan. For example I might say to my partner can we not have wine in the house Monday to Friday and have a no sugar alternative such as sugar free elderflower tonic? We know that others can significantly impact our own behaviour especially if they live with us. There are other tools and techniques that help us to take back control. I am going to list and explore the ones I have found to work well here.
Some good habits
For example, drawing on the above example and one of my own is one glass of alcohol Friday to Sunday. I know that the first one is the best and that I enjoy it. This also keeps me under the British Medical Association 14 unit weekly limit even if they are each a large glass of wine!
Other good habits are getting enough sleep and keeping to a similar time waking and going to bed. Everyone is different but as a lark I’m early to bed and believe that the hours before midnight are the best for sleep quality. Healthy food similarly will keep me weller and feeling in control. Treats really are for special occasions. Exercise is a good habit and research shows it’s great for mental as well as physical health.
Meditation will help you to feel more in control as it relaxes you, helps clear mind clutter, see things more clearly and do what you want to do.
My daily practice with my partner is threefold. We start with 3 deep diaphragm breaths using pulse point aromatherapy ‘happy vibes’ then a page of the daily stoic. We end with 3 positives from the day before - purpose, self care and connection are the categories. If you would like to know more about these tools you may want to work with me sometime.
Having a routine outside of holidays time helps me and others to stay in control. It’s like having rules in some ways and cuts down on excessive decision making that can be stressful.
For example when I wake up I follow a routine before breakfast that includes the daily practice cited above along with a cuddle with my partner! The latter is great for oxytocin. My purpose is my work helping people to think in ways that help them to achieve their outcomes. This I do mainly before lunchtime. My pm routine includes an exercise class, my steps aiming for 10k using my smart watch. I like to relax in the sauna before a shower. I include in my routine a break for breakfast lunch and dinner. Monday to Thursday I will listen to my meditation cd before sleeping. You may decide to start a routine to help you to take back or feel more in control of your time and your life. This will be driven by your priorities. For example, for me, health and wellbeing is my top value and I find that I am able to financially budget for a simple lifestyle.
For me the most important tool to take back control and something which, practised, will 10x your life is being mindful and present.
If you have read my other blogs you will have read about how the mind works and how we generate negative thoughts. Taking back control will not happen if you introspect negatively on the past. For example, ‘I should have done this before there’s no point now’. Taking back control will not happen if you negatively forecast the future. For example, I cannot see myself taking back control moving forward as something always occurs to derail me’. Being mindful and present will help as a letting go strategy. For example ‘I am in control of what I am doing right now’ or ‘just for today I will have a calming tea instead of an alcoholic drink when I return from work’. The subconscious emotional mind can cope with this simple calm instruction. The thought of doing something forever in the future scares the subconscious emotional mind and it often rebels.
Ensure that you do not focus negatively on the past or future. The subconscious will give you what you focus on! For me the second most important tool to take back control is to have one hundred percent intent where you mean it this time. The way to strengthen intent is visualising your success. See what you can see, for example clear skin, hear what you can hear, for example self praise and feel the feelings that you want to feel such as calm and peaceful.
So there we have it, my hopefully simple and implementable strategy for taking back control. If you would like to work with me moving forwards please get in touch via the form on this website.